I'm struggling...

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Struggling with my weight.

In 2007 I lost a huge chunk of weight (50 pounds to be exact). I had so much determination and will power, but now I am just...blah. I keep asking my husband why I can't get motivated, why this is not working and he just shrugs. (Men don't talk much when it comes to a woman's weight, do they?) I know how to count calories, I know how to exercise, and I know it works. I am blessed that I am not one of those women who does everything they can think of and still can't lose weight. I can. When I do the right things, I lose weight, and it comes off fast. But I just can't get back into that "mode". I have tried everything from weight watchers, to the 6 week body makeover, to having an accountability buddy. None of it worked. Sure, it works for some people, but they stuck with it. 

For a long time I didn't really care that I was overweight. I just accepted that that was who I was, and went with it. But lately there is a lot of sickness around me and a lot of it is weight/lifestyle related. I am turning 26 in a little over a week, and it scares me to think that I could make myself sick or worse with my poor eating habits.

I cried on the way home from work today. I cried, and cried out to God. I finally realized today why I have not been successful in losing weight this time around. I was going at it alone. I have not once asked God to give me strength during this weight loss journey. In 2007, I prayed daily for God to guide me that day, and to help me make the best choices for my health. I have not asked that of Him once this year!

A couple weeks ago I started what I was calling "Tip the Scales Thursday" to keep myself accountable to the blogging world. I have not posted my weight in the past 3 weeks. I was ashamed, because that 6 pound loss that I had achieved, is gone, I gained it back and I added on 4 more pounds to that. I have gained 10 lbs in 3 weeks.

I know that this is not what most of you want to read when blog hopping, but I had to get this out. My reasons for starting this blog was to better myself, to become more like Christ. And if pouring my heart out to all of the people who read this is how I am going to do it, then so be it.

I ask that you say a special prayer for me. A comment or two of encouragement would be nice as well. I would like to know that I have a lot of readers watching what I am doing every week. And I hope that once this weight does start dropping off, they will see that it was all with the help of the Almighty God.

My weight today, (again) is:

287.9 pounds

BMI: 45.7 - Morbidly Obese

Bible Verse of the Week - Pursue Peace

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I am cheating this week... In weeks past I have written about verses that were near and dear to my heart that day, but this evening, I found a very good piece on peace. (ha, ha!) I have had a rather unpeaceful day today. My 17 month old was very cranky last night, and I had a persistent backache all night long. Needless to say, I didn't get much sleep. To go along with the sleepless night, both of my boys were very rambunctious today. Then there was the usual monthly drama on Facebook. One family member posting something about another family member instead of confronting them about it. Oh boy. Don't you just LOVE social networking? When the drama on Facebook started, I was close to taking my spiritual armor off and putting on my "Oh-no-you-didn't-just-say-that" armor. But I didn't. I tried to be neutral, and helpful, but it wasn't coming across that way, so I stopped it there.  I said a quick prayer, and decided to step out. My favorite part about the featured verse this week is, "Let him turn away from evil and do good; let him seek peace and pursue it". So, my choice to "do good" in this situation, is to say nothing at all. Both parties are now in contact with each other, and hopefully they get everything worked out.


http://www.crosswalk.com/devotionals/Answers/
Pursue Peace 
By Bayless Conley
"In 1 Peter 3:10-11, Peter provides an important command in our relationships with other people, For "  He who would love life and see good days, let him refrain his tongue from evil, and his lips from speaking deceit.  Let him turn away from evil and do good; let him seek peace and pursue it." 

I want to focus your attention on the last part of verse 11, "Seek peace and pursue it."  This means we are to pursue peace with people. This command is reinforced by the writer of Hebrews in Hebrews 12:14, Pursue peace with all people, and holiness, without which no one will see the Lord. I want you to take note of the first part of that verse,  Pursue peace with….  How many people are we to pursue peace with?  All people.  Does that include your neighbor?  How about your mom?  How about your dad?  How about your kids?  Your boss?  Your relatives?  How about that individual who seems to have a gift for getting on your nerves?  What about those who are rude and obnoxious? We are told that we are to pursue peace with all people. That is not a suggestion.  That is a command.  And that command is clarified further in Romans 14:19, which says, Therefore let us pursue the things which make for peace and the things by which one may edify another. 

Things that edify (or build up) create peace.  Things that tear down shatter peace.  Keep that in mind next time you are having a heated discussion with your husband or wife.  Ask yourself, "Are the things that I am sharing at this moment building up my partner?  Or, are they tearing them down?" Pursue peace with all people by choosing words and deeds that will build them up."  

I am praying for God to help me bite my tongue, especially in family situations, where it can get sticky quick. This blog is titled "Christ-Like Mommy" and Christ was a peacekeeper, so shouldn't I be as well?

(Did you notice that I posted this as an actual post this instead of on the page? I didn't realize when I made the page that comments were not an option, so from now on, the Bible Verse of the Week will be an actual post, feel free to comment!)