Day 8 - When I go to a new place, like at school or work, I always look around to see if I am the biggest person in the room. If I'm not, I feel a little more at ease, like everyone won't be staring at just me. I have worried enough about how people are going to look at me, or what they are going to say. I have missed enough events in my life because I am too ashamed for people, family and friends, to see how much weight I have gained. I have noticed I am not as friendly to people as I used to be, and I have figured out that it is mainly because I don't want to draw attention to myself. This isn't as upbeat or comical as a lot of my posts, but this is real. I am not looking for sympathy, I don't deserve sympathy. I did this to myself, this obesity is all my fault. I am not going to play the blame game and say it is my parents fault, or my husband's fault. It's all me. I did it, but I need help to undo it.
In 2007 I lost 50 lbs on a popular diet. I was taught how to eat, told what not to eat and how much activity I should shoot for. A lot of this advice came from people that were hired right off the street, people who had no experience working with overweight individuals, or had never experienced being overweight, or dealing with an eating disorder. But I was never taught how to deal with the triggers that made me over eat. The emotions, self pity, all the other triggers that send me spiraling into a binge. I have since dealt with the most of those, mostly through praying and focusing on God in the rough times. But if I do become the next Mamavation Mom I would have more than just the eat this, do this kind of training. Mamavation Moms receive the kind of attention that a person like me needs. There is more than just diet and exercise training. There are real live mentors, Mamavation Mom graduates who are succeeding in the new lifestyle and are there to lend the new Mamavation Moms an ear when they need it. Then, of course, there is Pete Cohen, the Mamavation Lifestyle Coach. He is there to break down the good and bad and motivate the Mamavation Moms.
I need a push. I need the help of the Mamavation Coaching Team. But I won't get there without your support! Now, I need your support through tweets and posts on Facebook. Then, if I am chosen as a finalist, I need your vote. One vote, it won't take but a couple minutes at most.
If you want to show your support, please tweet the following, or head on over to the Mamavation Facebook page and let Leah, @bookieboo know that I inspire you!