In 2007 I lost a huge chunk of weight (50 pounds to be exact). I had so much determination and will power, but now I am just...blah. I keep asking my husband why I can't get motivated, why this is not working and he just shrugs. (Men don't talk much when it comes to a woman's weight, do they?) I know how to count calories, I know how to exercise, and I know it works. I am blessed that I am not one of those women who does everything they can think of and still can't lose weight. I can. When I do the right things, I lose weight, and it comes off fast. But I just can't get back into that "mode". I have tried everything from weight watchers, to the 6 week body makeover, to having an accountability buddy. None of it worked. Sure, it works for some people, but they stuck with it.
For a long time I didn't really care that I was overweight. I just accepted that that was who I was, and went with it. But lately there is a lot of sickness around me and a lot of it is weight/lifestyle related. I am turning 26 in a little over a week, and it scares me to think that I could make myself sick or worse with my poor eating habits.
I cried on the way home from work today. I cried, and cried out to God. I finally realized today why I have not been successful in losing weight this time around. I was going at it alone. I have not once asked God to give me strength during this weight loss journey. In 2007, I prayed daily for God to guide me that day, and to help me make the best choices for my health. I have not asked that of Him once this year!
A couple weeks ago I started what I was calling "Tip the Scales Thursday" to keep myself accountable to the blogging world. I have not posted my weight in the past 3 weeks. I was ashamed, because that 6 pound loss that I had achieved, is gone, I gained it back and I added on 4 more pounds to that. I have gained 10 lbs in 3 weeks.
I know that this is not what most of you want to read when blog hopping, but I had to get this out. My reasons for starting this blog was to better myself, to become more like Christ. And if pouring my heart out to all of the people who read this is how I am going to do it, then so be it.
I ask that you say a special prayer for me. A comment or two of encouragement would be nice as well. I would like to know that I have a lot of readers watching what I am doing every week. And I hope that once this weight does start dropping off, they will see that it was all with the help of the Almighty God.
My weight today, (again) is:
BMI: 45.7 - Morbidly Obese